But yeah, his post went down super well! I think I've given him enough of the spotlight now though; I'm getting all needy for your attention. so I'm back with this post for you guys...
I have spent a lot of time recently indulging the hermit and the geek in me. By which I mean I have spent a lot of time indoors on my laptop and iPad watching videos on atheism, UFOs and back-to-back episodes of Arrested Development. This isn't very cool, and I probably shouldn't share things like this so publicly - but you know what? I'm alright about that...
I'm ok about it because I have learnt some pretty cool things. On of these things, I am going to be kind enough to share with you.
As well as all of the riveting activities listed above, I also spent a lot of time Googling weird cults, and came across some great ones! I won't share them all with you because they're probably no weirder than Scientology, and I've already covered that... But this one was a personal favourite:
The Manson "Family"
So there was this guy called Charles Manson, who learned to play guitar in prison and formed his infamous "Family" of criminals in 1968. Manson insisted that an apocalyptic race war between whites and blacks would occur in 1969, after which the commune would rule the new world. When it didn't happen, he sent his followers on a string of murders to "show blacks how to do it," but, Manson just selected victims who were those who had not helped him with his music career. Brilliant!
Anyway, this got me thinking about charlatans and people like David Icke who say outlandish things like "The Monarch are actually reptiles," and how much money they must make from all their crazy talks (@Jon_Digital and I were most put-out by not being able to catch Icke's Bestival appearance).
So, I did a little research and had a little think about what it takes to be a cult leader - and I'm pretty sure I've nailed it in 6 easy steps for you guys!
You can thank me later...
THE SCIENCE OF CHARLATANISM
The most important thing is achieving a large following. Having a large following opens up all sorts of possibilities for deception; not only will your followers worship you, they will defend you from your enemies and will voluntarily take on the work of enticing others to join your fledgling cult. This kind of power will lift you to another level: You will no longer have to struggle to enforce your will. You are adored and can do no wrong.
You might think it a near impossible task to create such a following, but in fact, I've decided it is fairly simple! As humans, we have a desperate need to believe in something, anything. This makes us largely gullible. Dangle in front of us some new cause, get-rich-quick scheme, or the latest technological trend (in my case) and we jump. After a few decades, (a few years, a few months,) they generally look ridiculous, but at the time they seem so attractive. Do not let this gullibility go to waste: Make yourself the object of worship. Make people form a cult around you.
Step 1: Keep It Simple
To create a cult you must first attract attention. This you should do not through actions, which are too clear and readable, but through words, which are hazy and deceptive. Your initial speeches, conversations, and interviews must include two elements: on the one hand the promise of something great and transformative, and on the other a total vagueness. This combination will stimulate all kinds of hazy dreams in your listeners, who will make their own connections and see what they want to see.
To make your vagueness attractive, use words of great resonance but cloudy meaning, words full of heat and enthusiasm. Fancy titles for simple things are helpful, as are the use of numbers and the creation of new words for vague concepts. All of these create the impression of specialised knowledge. In the same breath, try to make the subject of your cult new and fresh, so that few will understand it. Done right, the combination of vague promises, cloudy but alluring concepts, and fiery enthusiasm will stir people's souls and a group will form around you.
Talk too vaguely and you have no credibility. But it is more dangerous to be specific. If you explain in detail the benefits people will gain by following your cult, you will be expected to satisfy them. It's a distinct balance. Practice it.
Step 2: Use Senses over Intelligence
Once people have begun to gather around you, two dangers will present themselves: boredom and scepticism. Boredom will make people go elsewhere; scepticism will allow them the distance to think rationally about whatever it is you are offering, blowing away the mist you have artfully created and revealing your ideas for what they are. You need to amuse the bored, and ward off the cynics. I have decided that the best way to do this is through theatre.
Surround yourself with luxury, dazzle your followers with visual splendor, fill their eyes with spectacle. Not only will this keep them from seeing the ridiculousness of your ideas, the holes in your belief system, it will also attract more attention and thus, more followers.
Appeal to all the senses; use incense for scent, soothing music for hearing, colorful charts and graphs for the eye. You might even tickle the mind, perhaps by using new technological gadgets to give your cult a pseudo-scientific veneer - as long as you do not make anyone really think.
Step 3: Copy Organised Religion
Religion still has power, even now when we have proper science! It is the mother of all cults, so take heed cult leader wannabes! Create rituals for your followers: organise them into a hierarchy, ranking then in grades of sanctity, and giving them names that resound with religious overtones (perhaps look to the masons for inspiration?); now't the time to ask them for sacrifices (monetary donations) to increase your power. Talk and act like a prophet. You are not a dictator, after all; you are a priest, a guru (or any other word that hides your real power in the mist of religion).
Step 4: Disguise Your Source of Income
Your group has grown, and you have structured it in a churchlike form. Your money-pot is beginning to fill with your followers' money. Yet you must never be seen as hungry for money and the power it brings. It is at this moment that you must disguise the source of your income.
Your followers want to believe that if they follow you all sorts of good things will happen. By surrounding yourself with luxury you become living proof of the soundness of your belief system. Never reveal that your wealth actually comes from your followers' pockets; instead, make it seem to come from the truth of your methods. Followers will copy your each and every move in the belief that it will bring them the same results, and their imitative enthusiasm will blind them to the charlatan nature of your wealth.
Step 5: Start War
The group is now large and thriving. If you are not careful, though, boredom could set in. To keep your followers united, you must now do what all religions and belief systems have done: create an "us-versus-them" dynamic.
First, make sure your followers believe they are part of an exclusive club unified by a bond of common goals. Then, to stregthen this bond, manufacture the notion of a devious enemy out to ruin you. There is a force of nonbelievers that will do anything to stop you. Any outsider who tries to reveal the charlatan nature of your belief system can now be described as member of this devious force. Win!
If you have no enemies, invent one.
Step 6: BEWARE
If at any moment the group sees through you, you will find yourself facing not one deceived soul but an angry crowd that will tear you to pieces. The charlatans of today (i.e. David Icke) constantly face this danger, and are always prepared to run-away once their sham is unearthed. In playing with the crowd, you are playing with fire, and must constantly keep an eye out for any signs of doubt or any enemies who will turn the crowd against you.
When you play with the emotions of a crowd, you have to know how to adapt, attuning yourself instantaneously to all of the moods and desires that a group will produce. Use spies, be on top of everything, and keep your bags packed.
For this reason you may often prefer to deal with people one by one. Isolating them can have the same effect as putting them in a group - it makes them more prone to suggestion and intimidation.
So there you have it folks! All the tools you need to become a successful charlatan!
Please keep me posted with you progress...
Happy Friday ;]
L.
